Do We Always Have Difficult Relationships? Let's Find Out Why With a Psychologist

It is true that relationships are gradually becoming more difficult, as demonstrated by the high number of separations and divorces, the gradual reduction in the duration of relationships due to an increase in conflicts and misunderstandings. According to experts, all of this is due to a social malaise caused by recent socio-cultural changes.
The psychologist Luke Saita tells us that today women have acquired a new role, they immerse themselves much more in the search for individual fulfillment than they did thirty years ago, just as sexual freedom and the crisis of the family have brought about changes in couple relationships.
Nowadays, in fact, the values ​​on which a couple's life is based have changed radically: if once importance was given to the values ​​of marriage, family and children, today more emphasis is placed on the sentimental and sexual sphere, everything is shared with one's partner, while remaining two different "entities".
In the traditional family, on the other hand, people became one, a family, and were not allowed to focus on their own personal goals but were committed to respecting social standards, that is, working steadily and having children.
This need to fulfill oneself individually tends to be destructive for today's couple life, as at the first difficulties or disagreements, there is a tendency to detach oneself, and eventually separate.
This freedom in relationships makes them less suffocating to live, but in exchange they want excellent communication and resolution skills to deal with problems and disagreements, skills that, in today's technological and communication-unemotional society, are in short supply.
These small misunderstandings, added together, can degenerate and cause a degradation of the relationship that from small arguments can lead to clashes and separations, it is in this case that the intervention of a psychologist is appropriate to enable both parties to communicate effectively.
Couples therapy

The mistake that many people make is to rely on couples therapy without the aim of starting a self-analysis, understanding the problems that each of the two commits and making themselves available to the therapist to change, but rather they see therapy as a courtroom, as if each partner had to fight to be right over the other.
This is already a serious symptom of a lack of maturity and desire to truly change for the better, the real goal of therapy is to become aware of the role that each of the two plays in the problems that arise within the relationship.
Most couples get it wrong in the way they think about aspects of their relationship, such as what is called selective attention, which is the habit of paying attention only to some aspects of their life together, such as focusing on the words said by their partner without evaluating their actions.
Or false expectations, that is, unfounded beliefs that put up walls within the relationship, for example, the thought that if I make a certain request to my partner, he/she will get angry.
Duties are also a serious obstacle to a relationship, it is always a belief that the partner must obligatorily fulfill some tasks (actually imaginary) of the life of the couple (for example, actively participating in what are his/her passions).
These are all cracks that interfere with a harmonious and serene relationship, and, as previously mentioned, admitting that you need the help of couples therapy is the first big step in understanding where you are going wrong in your romantic relationships.